Meaning of life: Part II

By Victor M Fontane

Most of us live in a bipolar state and I don’t mean bipolar disorder. We live between two polarities – the Ego Mind and the True Self. You may have heard me say before, that the human race is experiencing an evolution. The more we embrace this evolution by being willing to grow and become present, the more we will be living as our True Self. Nothing happens overnight however, unless we are lucky enough to be struck by the wand of enlightenment in our sleep – and it does happen for some, such as Eckhart Tolle (after much suffering may I add). However most of us will be dipping in and out of our True Self. Sometimes our Ego Mind will dominate and sometimes our True Self will be in charge, and that’s OK and normal. This is where awareness is very valuable.

What is the difference between the ego mind and the True Self?

Our ego mind is our false self – the conditioned self – who is not in touch with who we really are. It feeds on the vibration of fear and lives through a paradigm of Win/Lose (I win and therefore you must lose – also known as competition). When we are in ego we will feel contracted and small and “all alone”, and so we seek POWER. Ego power can feel good and it’s very addictive. Think of times when someone has hurt you and you seek to “get your own back”. It can feel wonderful at the time, but the good effect is short-lived, and often regretted.

The ego mind can also be needy. It does not want to lose anything and so it clings to people, places and situations. When we are in our ego mind, we will be dominated by the emotions of envy, jealousy, guilt, anger, resentment and other toxic emotions as well as loneliness. We can also experience feel-good emotions – excitement, elation and ecstasy, but these never last. When they go, we drop down to the same disconnected, lonely feeling that existed before, which can feel devastating. So the ego mind will have us experiencing an emotional rollercoaster of ups and downs. The ego doesn’t like to feel bad and so it looks for quick-fixes and is the basis of all addictions. The ego worries about what other people think of us and acts from an outside point of view as opposed to being self-directed, and just as it fears judgment; it also judges others, creating separation, loneliness and isolation.

We can easily be tricked by the ego mind – convincing us that revenge is justified, that our judgments of others are realistic, that our greed is just a healthy desire and that extreme vanity is an expression of beauty. The ego mind gets overly attached to outcomes and to expectations, and can feel angry or disappointed when things don’t turn out as expected or hoped for. It fills our mind with “random inner dialogue”, a lot of it negative, and much of it pointless.

So to sum it up, the ego mind is insecure and keeps us in perpetual misery!

By contrast, the True Self is who we really are and is connected to the All That Is. It is always in the vibration of love. It operates through the paradigm of Win/Win (I gain and you gain – also known as co-operation). When we are living as our True Self, we feel a sense of expansion and we know that we are significant but not in an egotistical way – this feeling is quietly powerful, humble and connected. While we may experience negative emotions and thoughts, these take place at a more superficial level because underlying these emotions is a foundation of love and a state of awareness that we are not our emotions or our thoughts. We are something far greater.

When we are operating from our True Self, we experience a state of neutrality most of the time – a feeling of inner peace and serenity – while the movie of life plays out just as it may when we are in our ego mind, but we are not “in it” like we are when we are our ego mind. It is simply a movie and we don’t have to step aboard the roller-coaster of thoughts and emotions that the ego mind would choose. The True Self knows that in life, things are forever changing – people, places and situations come and go, sometimes we get what we want and sometimes we don’t – but it makes no real difference to our sense of inner peace. This is true personal power! And it is the basis of true happiness.

What is true happiness?

There are a lot of books out there on happiness. True happiness is the state of inner peace and serenity. Some of us don’t recognize that this is happiness – so conditioned are we that we think happiness is excitement, elation and ecstasy – but these emotions are always short-lived. As human beings, we do not have the energy to sustain such a state of being for that long. What comes up must come down. The more we seek thrills, the more depression and despair we also experience. Our lives will certainly include moments of peak experiences, but the more in touch with our True Self we are, the more we do not identify with the thrill. We can enjoy it for what it is, but not cling to it, or hope that it will last, or take it too seriously, knowing that “this too shall pass”. Unfortunately, being operating most of the time from our ego and not knowing how to discover and connect with our true Self we create karma that, accumulated through many life times, attach our consciousness to its consequences. Then, continuing creating more new karma trap us in the cycle of birth and death. 

How can we begin to connect more with our True Self?

We can only start this journey to the True Self from where we are today. There are no shortcuts. We need to fully embrace who we are right now – we don’t get anywhere by denying our ego. The only way to transcend the ego mind is by:

1. Bringing AWARENESS to it

2. Realizing there is a SPACE between the ego mind’s desire and our action

3. Choosing to transcend the ego’s desires with the vibration of LOVE.

   
   

Asking the question “What would love do now?” is a powerful question.

Here are further ways of becoming present and getting more in touch with your True Self :

• Practice presence and observation – Whenever you can, become aware of the present moment – right here, right now – and simply observe it. Simply observe without thought. Set an alarm on your phone two or three times a day, or put a few signs around your home or work space with the word PRESENCE or NOW to remind you to make contact with the present moment right now.

• Meditate – Sitting with yourself and observing your thoughts, emotions, agitations and distractions is a highly effective way to become self-aware.

• Pay attention to your breath – This is a great way to become more present. Again, if you’re new to this, set an alarm on your phone two or three times daily to practice.

• Feel your body – The body is not the busy ego-mind. Feeling the inside of our body brings awareness. The body is constantly talking to you, telling you the truth. When you connect in with your body, you disconnect from your busy ego-mind.

• Observe nature – Simply by sitting and observing nature, you are connecting in with the Universal Source.

• Yoga/exercise – Undertake exercise in a self-observant way. Notice your breath, feel your bodily sensations, observe your thoughts. Stay present.

• Do something you love or do something creative – When you are fully engaged in a create activity that you enjoy, you can feel totally present and connected, and the ego mind falls away. Paint, write, build, decorate, sew, knit, garden, colour-in, play – whatever gives you joy creatively, make some time to do it.